Agoraphobia - How I am overcoming it
I battled agoraphobia for 8 years and only now I am having a normal life again. And I want you to overcome agoraphobia too. This is my experience. Not a ´how to overcome agoraphobia´ because people find different ways to do it, but I hope my experience can help somebody.
Before I start, let me tell you why I developed agoraphobia. In the very beginning (2009), I had multiple panic attacks and anxiety symptoms both at home and outside. The difference is that I found a way to deal with panic attacks at home (I used to lay down on the bed, breathe slowly and ended up sleeping, because sleeping was always easy for me). But obviously I couldnt do it in a restaurant, cinema, plane, street or in a concert. In my case, it made no difference if the beach was crowded or empty, for example. Because, if I had a panic attack, I wouldn´t know how to get rid of it anyway. There was no difference if I was alone or with somebody (actually, it was worse if I was with somebody, because I didnt want to tell the person I wasnt feeling fine and ruin the program).
I tried everything you can imagine to distract my mind (singing, praying, counting people and cars, etc) but nothing worked. Read many books, watched videos, and nothing worked. If I didn´t find a ´formula´ to stop those horrible sensations, I wouldn´t leave home in peace. The years were passing and I started being confined to my house. Well, I left home, but always in fear. So, for some time, I didnt want a job, or having a girlfriend, etc.
Dr. Claire Weekes gave me the first key to recovery (she discovered how to deal with anxiety many years ago and it´s the base of all programs we see today - even if they dont credit her). The secret is to trust your body and accept the sensations. And it´s something REAL hard to do, because you obviously want to get rid of them. So, I knew the theory, I knew it was the way, but I couldn´t practice it. Everytime I left home and started feeling those sensations, I was like ´Ok, I got to accept´, but didnt relax. I didn´t really accept. I was always checking my body and got angry/afraid because the sensations were still there. After some minutes I was like ´I am accepting. Why am I still feeling this?´. Needless to say, it wasn´t acceptance.
One week, I watched two free videos of the Panic Away program. I couldn´t buy it (don´t have international credit card) and, to be honest, never fully trusted these methods. But I gave it a chance (what did I have to lose?) and checked these videos:
and
Everytime I left home and felt that pressure in my chest, I thought ´It´s only a discomfort. I dont know how, but it will pass´. I used to go for a walk everyday, and I always repeated that "mantra" and tried to repeat the ´I am excited about this feeling´ everytime I remembered it. For some days, nothing happened, but, after a week or so, I started noticing the anxiety feelings were not so strong.
Knowing this made me realize how to disarm the bomb in the initial stage. Because, if I reacted with fear, the fear would drive more adrenaline to the blood stream and the symptoms would increase. After doing this for a while, I started noticing that, after some minutes, I was feeling well. It gave me confidence and now I live basically a normal life. But I must confess I never did proper meditation, diet and therapy. Now I only know how to deal with the (rare) symptoms.
Now it´s Phase 2 where I must go to the root cause.
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| And to think I couldnt even dream of having this kind of pic taken some months ago... |
Before I start, let me tell you why I developed agoraphobia. In the very beginning (2009), I had multiple panic attacks and anxiety symptoms both at home and outside. The difference is that I found a way to deal with panic attacks at home (I used to lay down on the bed, breathe slowly and ended up sleeping, because sleeping was always easy for me). But obviously I couldnt do it in a restaurant, cinema, plane, street or in a concert. In my case, it made no difference if the beach was crowded or empty, for example. Because, if I had a panic attack, I wouldn´t know how to get rid of it anyway. There was no difference if I was alone or with somebody (actually, it was worse if I was with somebody, because I didnt want to tell the person I wasnt feeling fine and ruin the program).
I tried everything you can imagine to distract my mind (singing, praying, counting people and cars, etc) but nothing worked. Read many books, watched videos, and nothing worked. If I didn´t find a ´formula´ to stop those horrible sensations, I wouldn´t leave home in peace. The years were passing and I started being confined to my house. Well, I left home, but always in fear. So, for some time, I didnt want a job, or having a girlfriend, etc.
Dr. Claire Weekes gave me the first key to recovery (she discovered how to deal with anxiety many years ago and it´s the base of all programs we see today - even if they dont credit her). The secret is to trust your body and accept the sensations. And it´s something REAL hard to do, because you obviously want to get rid of them. So, I knew the theory, I knew it was the way, but I couldn´t practice it. Everytime I left home and started feeling those sensations, I was like ´Ok, I got to accept´, but didnt relax. I didn´t really accept. I was always checking my body and got angry/afraid because the sensations were still there. After some minutes I was like ´I am accepting. Why am I still feeling this?´. Needless to say, it wasn´t acceptance.
One week, I watched two free videos of the Panic Away program. I couldn´t buy it (don´t have international credit card) and, to be honest, never fully trusted these methods. But I gave it a chance (what did I have to lose?) and checked these videos:
and
Everytime I left home and felt that pressure in my chest, I thought ´It´s only a discomfort. I dont know how, but it will pass´. I used to go for a walk everyday, and I always repeated that "mantra" and tried to repeat the ´I am excited about this feeling´ everytime I remembered it. For some days, nothing happened, but, after a week or so, I started noticing the anxiety feelings were not so strong.
Knowing this made me realize how to disarm the bomb in the initial stage. Because, if I reacted with fear, the fear would drive more adrenaline to the blood stream and the symptoms would increase. After doing this for a while, I started noticing that, after some minutes, I was feeling well. It gave me confidence and now I live basically a normal life. But I must confess I never did proper meditation, diet and therapy. Now I only know how to deal with the (rare) symptoms.
Now it´s Phase 2 where I must go to the root cause.
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